Describe the stages in the development of self control.

Mangal and Mangal (2015) have indicated three stages in the development of self-control

1)      Awareness about the present emotional state

The first step required in the development of self-control is to be aware about one’s emotional state. One needs to focus attention on the emotions one is experiencing at the moment, for instance, what are these emotions, nature of these emotions, positive or negative emotions, intensity of the emotions, duration and pattern of the emotions. Many a times by the time we become aware of our emotions, the action has already been done. This may lead to ineffective actions and decisions. Thus, to be connected with one’s emotions, one needs to be mindful about the present moment experiences and emotions.

This emotional self awareness can be developed through different ways: (a) knowing about emotions, their nature, types and how they impact; (b) paying attention to the physical manifestations of the emotions; physiological changes like rapid heart beat, fast breathing, sweating, increased blood pressure, facial changes, laughing, smiling, feeling relaxed etc.; (c) meditation practices will help focus your attention inward on your inner self and understand yourself; (d) scanning the body for physical changes and the thought process to find out what thoughts are going on; (e) scanning others also with regard to changes in their body language and behavior due to our own emotional state.

2)      Determining underlying causes responsible for the present emotional state

When we focus on the emotional state we are experiencing, the next step is to find out why we are experiencing these. It is like going backward or retracing the steps back to find out what caused the emotions.

3)      Adopting measures for getting control of the emotional state

Once we know the reasons for our emotions, we are in a better position to control these. There are several ways that help us in emotional self-control: (a) take an immediate pause within yourself and outside yourself also, e.g., deep breathing, relaxation techniques, doing yoga and exercise, listening to music, talking to friends/family; (b) adopting an internal locus of control and not blaming the external factors as responsible for the emotional state of the ndividual; (c) having a positive attitude, hope and optimism; (d) planning beforehand that helps you to anticipate the likely impact of your emotions and modify your behavior accordingly.

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